Dear Amy: My daughter is having an affair and cheating on her husband.
I’m afraid that she is headed in a bad direction.
She doesn’t come home after work hardly any more until maybe one or two in the morning. Her husband works third shift, so he doesn’t know what time she comes in. She has adult kids and an 8-year-old girl.
I’m staying at her house for the next two months and don’t want to get in the middle of all of this. She is going to see a lawyer in three weeks to see about a divorce and I know I’m going to be blamed for everything.
I love my grandchildren very much and just don’t know what to do.
Please help me!
– Scared Gran
Dear Gran: Even though your adult daughter’s behavior is really not in your control, she has placed you in the middle of this (or at least adjacent to it), because presumably she is using your presence in the household to step out on her husband.
Third shift usually starts at 11 p.m., so I’m wondering what their parental overlap normally is, but I am assuming that you are watching the household and your 8-year-old grandchild at night when she is gone.
If your daughter is blowing up her marriage, she will be blamed for everything. Her husband will likely accuse you of being a co-conspirator.
If so, the best response to this and other nonsense generated by your daughter’s unethical behavior is no response.
If you feel uncomfortable aiding, abetting, or even passively witnessing this behavior, you might want to cut your visit short.
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