Dear Amy: I’m almost 30. My grandparents are in their 80s and healthy.
They have told me that they will be leaving me money in their will and – although I’m not sure the amount, they seem to be quite prosperous.
I am considering asking them for my inheritance ahead of their passing. My experience during the pandemic has given me a very strong desire to travel for several months.
I think my grandparents might feel gratified witnessing me enjoying their legacy, but I don’t know how to ask them.
Your advice?
– Grateful Grandchild
Dear Grandchild: There are many factors here which you don’t include. These would be: Your grandparents’ health, future housing and medical needs, and their willingness to be manipulated by an adventure-seeking grandchild.
Some of this depends on the culture of your family, and of how these elders have lived their own lives.
You need to consider the possibility that watching you enjoy yourself might not be as gratifying to this elderly couple as you think.
One or both of your grandparents could live for 20 more years. The amount of your inheritance might shift based on their financial needs now and in the future.
At some point, adults who are maturing shift their values away from asking for more and toward giving more.
I endorse your plan to seek adventure, but suggest that you line up financing that doesn’t involve your grandparents.
Dear Amy: “Dreading the Dogs” has a very close friend who always brings her three dogs along when she is a houseguest.
A good and safe kennel is the answer.
– Dog Lover
Dear Dog Lover: When I got my dog, the first thing I did was to line up in-home help and a quality kennel as backup. Dogs and humans have to adjust to this separation, but I believe it’s vital.
Dear Readers: Have you ever had your question published in the “Ask Amy” column? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Did you accept or reject my advice? Was the issue you wrote about ever resolved?
As part of our ongoing conversation about human behavior and its consequences, I’d love to learn how things turned out for you.
Please – get in touch! Write to me at askamy@amydickinson.com – write UPDATE in the subject line, and tell me your story.
I welcome the opportunity to be back in touch.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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